• Dr. Glenn Doyle

The past does not change when we choose to "forgive" someone.

The hurtful behavior someone once engaged in-- they still did it.

The mistakes we made-- we still made them.

The misunderstandings that occurred-- they still occurred.

The damage that was inflicted remains.

Forgiveness is not about changing the past.

It's about giving ourselves permission to shift our focus in the present and future when we think about someone.

It's about deciding that what happened in the past-- while perhaps still important-- is not going to be the only, or the defining, aspect of our present and future relationship with a person.

When we forgive, we're not saying what happened in the past is "okay."

What we're saying is, "I am open to a future with this person that is not solely defined by the past."

  • Dr. Glenn Doyle

Don’t hold yourself prisoner to what you wanted and needed once upon a time.

Times change. People change. Situations change.

You change. You have changed...and you will change.

What the you of the past wanted and needed may not be the same as what the you of today wants and needs.

We need to be gentle with past versions of ourselves— to understand that we often did our best with the tools we had at the moment.

But that doesn’t mean we need to cling to the wants and needs of our past selves if we’ve evolved past them.

Make sure your values and goals reflect the you of right now— not the you of the past.

Give yourself permission to grow and change— and to leave behind what you once wanted and needed, if they no longer fit who you’ve become.


The Doyle Practice - Chicago

500 North Dearborn Street, Suite 1030

Chicago, IL 60654

The Doyle Practice - DC

3801 Connecticut Avenue, NW, Suite 100A

Washington, DC 20008

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